If Only I Knew

if only i knew
would 've mend it all

if only i knew
what i 've been apoloziging for
if only i knew

wish i DID
desire i KNEW.

none of your fault
all mine
only me to blame

only me to rectify
only me to mend
mend it all

all by myself.

the mess i made

the torture i did
the wounds 

is all if i could heal.

oh God_______
so helpless i feel.

tears please have mercy
sadness shower thy blessings
for i am naive

to my own actions
and his concerns
and his love

and his care.
if only i knew....
my words were so powerful

words so harsh
or actions so pricking
would have never 

done at all.

which of these 

is TRUE
if only i knew 
would mend them all.

i am the cause
i am the effect

i am the reason 
i am the result.

if only i knew.......
if only you said.......
or

if only i was sensitive
if only i was patient.

i know not the reasons
know not the actions
all that dejection

i just cant bear at all.

the wounds 

is all if i could heal.
oh God_______
so helpless i feel.